Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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