I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
