Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
