i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
