Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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