The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize