from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
