Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
