I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
