I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
