AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is Oprah even human
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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