We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
