I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
