i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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