He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Even my vagina gasped.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
