just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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