That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
