Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
