Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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