So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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