I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
