somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
