ugly people sure do ruin things
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
