If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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