Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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