Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
