Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
