The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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