i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
