We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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