either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
