I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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