Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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