This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize