umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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