that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize