How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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