I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
