It's Friday. Sex?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize