I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
