Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just invented taco cereal.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
