I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Dicks are not precious.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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