oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its not stalking. its research.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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