North Korea, Best Korea!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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