Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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