I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
