I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
