had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
