I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
