i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
