Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
