hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
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