Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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