Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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