are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize