maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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