dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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