No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
