I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
