My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
