It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
