it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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