I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
